Small and windowless...

...and cold.

These are the properties of the office I'm currently sitting in. Also, dark. I can not tell if the headache and fatigue I'm experiencing are tied to the cold I'd been fighting off this weekend, or if they are a gift of this office. I felt fine this morning when I left home.

That's not entirely true. I felt tired then too. I slept in and took a later train to LA and I barely made that. The morning was grey and heavy-- typical San Diego-- and I slogged through it-- typical me. I'm huddled now in the corner of this space, my sweatshirt wrapped around me, tea at hand, wondering if I should go check into the hotel early. I'm seriously considering it.

I do need to get some sort of workout in today, so I'm going to try to make a yoga class at 5:45. Logistically, for reasons I am too tired to delve into at this moment, this will not be easy.

Maybe I'm so lackluster because of the recent need to sever the ties with yet another failed relationship. I hurt her, and for that I feel badly, very badly, but I also feel free. I don't think this is loneliness that I feel... it's too early for that. I have been a little put off, of late, by a friend up here who tends to overstep her bounds. I casual remark on her part about how "a road trip would be fun" has turned into a fully planned out trip to the hot baths as Esalen with a stay already reserved at the Madonna Inn. Why does this sounds more like a romantic get-away than a spontaneous road trip?

Why do I sound so god-damned whiny?